I'd like to teach the world to sing
And put an end to suffering if I could
With the dedicated heart and soul
Of Britain's greatest rock 'n' roll Robin Hood
But your eyes are dim you cannot see
Your middle name is misery
And you'd like to teach the world to sing,
"You're gonna get your head kicked in"

Don't lose your temper
In the shopping centre son
Just remember
The young offender's mum

All God's children snatch a handbag
Spot the ball and match the grandad
To the pictures on the news
Count the stitches on the bruise
Lock your sons up with your daughters
Stay at home don't drink the water
Intercept all interference
And blame the parents

But don't lose your temper
In the shopping centre son
Just remember
The young offender's mum

Down the front of the church
For the second time in life love hurts
This time there's no buttons and bows
She's wearing non fast coloured clothes
The service seems to last for hours
No one wants to catch the flowers
On the shoulder of an older brother
The young offender's mother

Don't lose your temper
In the shopping centre son
Just remember
The young offender's mum